Done and Done.

Approximately two hours ago, I finished up was is thought to be the hardest class of the entire nursing program. They were not kidding, it was oh so difficult. I can't even tell you how many nights Spencer so patiently found something to do because his wife had to focus.  Ultra supportive.  I was scared to death to start it last September and can hardly believe its over.  Throughout the school year I would always find myself thinking, I can't stand school, it's soooo hard, I just want time to be a better wife, ......  Truth is, I can stand school. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. Although I am not graduated yet, I finished what I thought was impossible. It was possible.

Anything is really.

I sometimes get thinking and it gets deep, fast, in my head.  But the truth is, I can do hard things.  Anyone can. And voila, before you know it, it's over (in this sense).  I find that empowering.  If I want to be a surgeon, I can. If I want to be the best sister in the world, I can.  If I want to try things I have always been fearful of, I can.  Lately, I have really been thinking about going to medical school.  And when I start think, Me? really?, that thought pops into my head and reassures me that I can do it if I want.  (Although, I would like to be a momma more, I still can.)

I called my mom today after the test.  I of course was stressing about the grade that has not yet been posted (fingers crossed). She said, "Did you learn something?".  Of course!  "Well than that's all that matters. Look how far you have come."  She was right.

A LOT has happened with the family this past year.

Before this course, there are intense situations that I would have run away from with flailing arms.
After this course, I feel confident in my knowledge to help people. To help people when they are in a poor situation. I feel comfortable with traumatic situations. I never dreamed I would. I am so happy that I chose something to study and work toward that will depend on someone's life.  Although it has its downfalls, nursing, is such an amazing thing.  I am now starting to realize the beauty of it. And WHY people do it.

And for that, I am so grateful that this challenge and the knowledge I have gained.