Sometimes when I hear stories.

Sometimes when I hear stories about mother's who have lost their babies, 

my heart aches for them.

I find myself thinking of how terrible that would be as a mother.

And then I remember how that is my Mom's story.

As if I've forgotten.

Never EVER have forgotten my sister.

But have forgotten that it is my mom's story, too.

And how sometimes when no one is around and she lies in bed.

Her heart must shed tears.

For her baby.

And then I love my mom a million times more for being so brave.

For being so courageous.

For giving so much of herself.

When in reality, a piece of heart is in heaven.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of babes. 

My favorite person was born twenty six years ago this very day.

Holy Smokes.

I have so so so much I want to share. Seriously its killing me that I don't have enough time.  My life has been a whirlwind, a good whirlwind, but a extremely, busy, fast, need 30 hours a day whirlwind.  I'm sure I'm not the only one.  Posts I want to share include my brothers 30th birthday party, my moms 100 mile race, ordinary life, and a new wedding gift idea.

I wish I would just slap the pictures on the blog of all these events, but something in my gut says they can't be until they are post-processed.  It's an annoying habit (I think that's what you would call it) that I have. 

On a future note! 

I am leaving tomorrow for the American Society Cancer camp tomorrow for seven days. I am really looking forward to it. I am somewhat nervous too. I hope that for this one week I can help the kids to have a blast and to let all their worries be forgotten for just a moment. I really do hope that I will be a good camp counselor.  I've made tons of decorations for cabin and gifts for the girls. Can't wait to meet them.

Tomorrow will mark fourteen crazy long/short years since my beautiful sister heather passed away.  Gosh we really miss her around here.  I am sad I am going to miss the annual Jenny Lake memorial hike for her, but I know she would be happy that I will be at Camp Rainbow Gold.  Love you long time heath. XX

And, I've been lucky to take some pictures of the cutest kids lately! You would never know that the weather was horrible this day! They were troopers.

Rolling in the deep.

Last night Spencer and I watched a movie my friend lent me called "If Only". I am sure some of you have seen it. I think Spencer did not really like it because the actors weren't the best. He's the worst movie critic, but I am not a movie critic at all. I like any and everything, and I rarely notice bad acting. Always a sucker for chick flicks. I particularly keen of the happy endings. Even though the movie was predictable, it had a really powerful message. And about half way through the movie, I cried for 1/2 of the last of the movie.  Boom it hit me. I don't know why but the movie made me really, really miss my sister. I don't cry very often over missing her, I just like to have happy memories. But sometimes I get annoyed. Annoyed and angry that she isn't here. Annoyed that she died at 18. Because I know we would have been so close. I think we are a lot a like. People have told me that, but I just think of all the fun we could be having, and I get sad. Spencer first thought I was sad because of the movie, yes it was sad, but sometimes, usually the most random times, I miss her. I think it is okay to have times like these those. Because for some reason, it reassures your love for the person missed. It almost makes it feel real in such a surreal circumstance. I told Spencer that I just wanted to see her so bad. And he then said we get to be with her often. I asked what? where?. He said the temple. Which is so true. She is there. I feel closer to her when I go. Whether or not the movie was good. The message was good. And last night I hugged Spencer a little tighter. And sometimes it is good to be reminded, by cheesy actors nonetheless, to appreciate what you have. 

On a lighter note. I made the little image above. I think it is a helpful reminder. Because usually when I forget the proper table etiquette, it is a time when I don't want to forget. You know what I mean? 

I made this little card for fathers day below, if you would like a copy. Just email me at mollylandonphoto@gmail.com and I will send you a high resolution copy to give your poppa!

bonjour, merci

alas! it's the weekend. although i have a plethora of things to do, it is the weekend.
today would be my sister heather's thirty second birthday. and i am going to make her a treat.
hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

ciao.

sad/happy----- mostly happy

today was a really special, unique day

13 years ago today, we got the horrible message that sister died in a car accident

i was only 9, so i don't remember a lot about the day
but i can remember my mom crying in the shower

it WAS a sad day

for 13 years, we have missed heather every second.

however since that day, we have made every July 16 special AND happy.

today was an especially. special July 16

13 hours ago, all of my siblings got to be in the temple together for the first time

today, carrie went to the temple for the first time

i think today will go down as the best july 16 since that day

because....

 we felt as close to heather as we possibly could

and we liked it.

18 going on 31.

Last weekend, March 11.

Heather would be 31. 

Usually on her birthday 

we go skiing in honor of her.

We couldn't this year, 

but we did get to spend it together

with my siblings.  

And I loved it.

I forget memories of us together 

because I was so young, 

but I remember she was so sweet

and she would give you 

the shirt off of her back.

Last year I made of list

of all the stories and memories

we had together so I will 

never ever forget them. 

Because I don't want to.

And,

You want to meet someone creative.

HOLY COW.

If any of you knew Heather,

knows that she was a creative GENIUS.

I'd compare her to Martha Stewart.

Maybe even more creative.

I miss her like crazy and 

ask myself all the time,

WHAT IF.......

she was married

who would it be too

had kids

where she would live

so on an so forth.

These questions don't do me 

any good but they are 

kind of fun to dream of.

I love heather so much 

and even though I have lived 

longer than she had,

I'll still be her baby sister.

Anyways, 

I hope Heather knows I'm writing 

this and I hope she knows how

I miss her and and I

wish her a Happy Birthday.

I'm sure in heaven

my grandma made her,

her favorite peanut brittle 

cake. 

very very lucky

This fall.

I am Grateful for my sisters.

I have a lot.

You teach me a lot.

Motherhood, simplicity, creativity, love.

You are Christ-like.

You are beautiful.

I love you all to pieces.